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Keeping Faith With Me

by 1rebeccao

Logline

A young child vanishes, prompting a nationwide manhunt.Despite her family's desperate pleas, the witnesses to the event all choose to stay in the shadows. Why?

Type: novel

Genre: Crime,Mystery,Family

Synopsis

 

In 'Keeping Faith with Me’, Faith, a beautiful two year old explorer, vanishes during an outing to the park. Faith’s disappearance crushes her family, especially her twin sister, but others in the park also feel the aftershock. Someone knows what has happened to Faith. As the years unfold, the thread linking lives and lies will begin to fray before it totally unravels.  Beginning in suburban Manchester in 1979, the narrative hurtles rapidly towards the present day. A page-turner, ‘Keeping Faith with Me’ shines a light on the nature of love, loss and culpability. Being a mother and an identical twin, this story comes from the heart. 

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    • clairelsimpson

    • 2012-07-20 14:20:50
    • Hi Rebecca, as requested I've taken another look. I've only really looked at the first section, and yes I think naming the mother helps bring it in to line with the rest (though I wouldn't completely reject the notion of making it impersonal if it fits in with a wider vision for the novel, as it could be interesting - it's hard to judge when only reading the first few chapters, when reading for leisure it can sometimes take a while to get into the stride of a novel though as a new writer trying to secure an agent/publisher I suppose we need to entice immediately without the luxury of an established/loyal readership) . I can't detect what other changes you've made but it reads tighter, more polished, so you've possibly tightened up some grammar here and there and it shows. There are a few paragraphs in the middle that may benefit from some variety in sentence length: the one that starts "Sue calls her daughter's name again", for example - all the Only openings could do with being looked at, there too - but that's a minor thing. I really like the last paragraph of this section - the description of the police searching is really on the money. Overall I still like it as much as the first time and can see it's been worked, and those edits have enhanced it.
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    • 1rebeccao

    • 2012-07-16 19:38:47
    • Thank you. You have been so generous with your time. Let me know if I can return the favour. If ever you need a piece of writing littered with misplaced modifiers, I'm your girl. Hope all goes well with your current writing project.

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