I love the story itself. The concept is strong. I like the way the author introduces the storyline. For me, the most important aspect of a project is the story itself and whether or not it engages and/or entertains the reader. This story does - I love the idea.
I agree with the first reviewer, however, that the style is distracting. Switching between first, second and third person challenges the flow of the story - I think it would be stronger if it picked one. But overall, I loved the concept. It might be a good idea to change that and give it a thorough spell check.
There is no dialogue so I am never sure how to review that. I think it would make more sense to have a review system on Circalit that allowed the review to be submitted without any reference to dialogue.
A strong start - I liked it.
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