You write very well and I found this amusing.
Your formatting is good and there were no mistakes that took me out of the story.
I think, for me it would have been WONDERFUL, if the reveal that it was a conker contest had been the final moment and you'd spent more time building up the suspense, which you had started to do - that this was going to be a bare knuckle fight or cage fight or similar.
The actual conker fight itself was the least interesting bit.
Only my humble opinion!
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