My entry for the Sci-Fi Short Story Competition is now complete. Wish me luck.
It is available here: http://www.circalit.com/michaelvank/projects/project_1330810783/
Please take the time to write me a review, as this forms part of the competition criteria, thanks.
Thanks Tom, for your excellent feedback, a lot of food for thought. Yes, the motivations re. Brizzer's revenge plot are all unspoken and were purely for you the reader. I hear what you're saying about leaving them out of the synopsis. I've actually got a second draft complete of the feature screenplay, and am about to submit to Industrial Scripts for coverage. I'd like to follow up with you on some of your points. How could I relay to the audience that Brizzer saw his dad executed by Jim as a boy, without the flashback, and without him telling Danni through Dialogue? (I guess this how to release exposition) Would I need Danni to read a news article that he's kept, or does he visit his grave? These both seem a bit cliche. What do you think ?