Mr Blackwell

Hi Sid,

While making the guys from KISS star in your film as young kids was a novel idea, you'll have issues with all the KISS songs included.

If you just wrote this for the heck of it, then no worries. 

But if you want to make a film, producers always look at music listed and then they hear the "cha-ching" of the cash register-- only it's their money going out, not coming in.

Also, choosing the most critically reviled, and least known,(music from "The Elder")  KISS album might be a worry for your audience.  KISS is definitely from my childhood, and I don't even remember any of those songs.

(This was the only album they never toured to support.)

Overall, your formatting was fine.  Oddly, this is often a stumbling block for new screenwriters, so job well done.

Making Mr. Blackwell drink a shake with fat in it is a little thin for a story goal. 

The talent show at school is the big event, but their main opponent is their neighbor who doesn't want them to practice at home.  Finding another location to practice seems like a very easy out for your heroes.

Maybe making Mr. Blackwell their school principal might work better.  He doesn't even want to let a "rock and roll act" into the show and our boys have to sneak in disguised as some other lame school talent show act.  (Cheerleaders?  Puppet act?)

That would wrap up your story better than having Mr. Blackwell suddenly let them practice because he drank a shake with bacon in it, then we transition from them practicing, to playing on stage.

If they overcome their obstacle at school, where your story started, it would be a nice, tight ending.

With the length of songs you included, this would run much longer than a standard "short" film.  A page a minute is the rough measuring stick of screenplays.

On the surface, this looks short, at 8 pages.  But you have several minutes of songs listed, so that would blow up your length quite a bit.

Nice idea!  Made me think of the Scooby gang fighting Mr. Blackwell.  :)

Best of luck!

Mike