The Wee Green Cubicles Of Ireland (first 30 pgs)
Paige is immediately likeable and we know what her destiny is. But we don't know how it is going to happen and what it means. This gives a nice hook to the story. With only 30 pages to go by I would ask why she couldn't find what she's looking for (love?) in San Francisco? Does she need to get away? We don't get a feeling that something is missing from her life or if something is missing why she doesn't try harder in SF. As previously stated with only 30 pages written I'm sure the rest of the script will give us the answers. It a great start and has the main thing going for it - it makes the reader want to read more.
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