New Year's Luck
Nice, lighthearted romcom
I made time to read the whole of this screenplay - it's a nice, light-hearted romcom which i really enjoyed. The whole tone of the screenplay is pitched just right and you've kept it light and fun throughout. What I think really makes it though is that beneath the lightness there's real sadness/longing.
A few pointers I thought would improve it. The first scene between Rick and Joe in the shop didn't work for me - as a guy I thought it was unrealistic and really put me off. Luckily I persevered and didn't get that in the rest of the script.
Stu falling down a pothole is really random. I wonder if you could 'set it up' earlier in the script, for example by having Rick and Joe removing the cover for a dare/during their fight etc. This kind of 'plant' in a comedy tends to work well.
Maybe it's just be but I though by the time Dave and Nicole left the bar together they really fancied each other. And if Dave jumped in the canal to rescue a plastic bag then when he got out that would be the kind of funny thing they both would have laughed about and brought them closer together. It didn't work for me that Nicole and Stu suddenly got together at the end. I would have preferred Nicole and Dave to get together.
I thought the screenplay was leading up to all the main characters coming together at the end of the night at a party. I couldn't help picturing a nice climax to the movie at midnight itself, with everyone ending up in the same place, all celebrating with the people they ended up with, and a good christmas tune playing in the background. I know it's cheesy, but hey, it would fit with a romcom type film.
Anyway, feel free to follow these suggestions or not, as I said, I thoroughly enjoyed it, well done.
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