That's My Son

This has definitely got potential, but it's length play's against it. Within 3 or 4 paragraphs we've travelled across months and locations from a child's funeral to an attempted murder.

Slow down and pad it out a bit. This is a really, really solid framework with an intriguing idea behind it: misplaced justice.

I would have liked to have been drawn in to the narrator a bit more because the length of the piece makes it hard to empathise with him at the moment. Good start though.