The idea of a mystery adventure thriller set in a dark Victorian Edinburgh has a great deal merit. However the author has failed to articulate a comprehensive or engaging world. The singular focus on being a console game has hampered any consideration of this storyworld on other platforms and the narrative vibrancy is impossible to discern with so little detail provided. This certainly an idea worth pursuing but in its current state it is in effective in demonstrating a viable storyworld project.
Feedback from the Immersive Writing Lab Competition organisers.
This is a short extract of the full feedback paper. To obtain a copy of the full feedback coverage the author should email julian(at)portalentertainment.co.uk and the complete document will be forwarded to you offline.