Colourblind
by dtona
Hi,
I'm supposed to be concentrating on my script and I only occassionally dip into the hot reads on here at the moment. Very surprised no-one else commented on this. Your characterization and dialogue is off the wall fantastic. You have an amazing ear for the voices of your characters which was really fresh and different. I loved the faulty, error rich English of the parents and the mixed up patois of slang dialect by the kids.
You did have quite a few typos in there so it needs a solid proof read. The concept was potentially interesting but the story quite thin for the length of the script - by which I mean not much really happens in these 11 pages. I think your characters would make a wicked sitcom, but you do need to work on your story and plot elements. You seem to have a lot of situation, some action and very few decisions, which is the wrong balance. We need lots of decisions and actions creating situations.
Faults aside, you have a unique, powerful, resonant voice and good characters and I'm sure producers will be climbing over each other to get a piece of that.
Good luck with it.
H