Fantastic read - it made me laugh out loud, which says a lot! As a mid-twenties male myself I could relationed 100% with the characters in the story. It contained very sharp writing and brilliant imagery from start to finish. What is a review without any conwstructive criticism?
The way you write lands the script in the "good" pile, however, I feel as though it could be even more unique and powerful by writing it a little more "WHACK" and "BANG". The visual symbols need to jump much more out of the page so you're not whispering the story but slapping us around the face with it.
Not only was it an enjoyable read, but it scared me to death, which is a great combination.
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