I kind of got this Jazzy feeling from it, as if this entire story could be written and played out by a jazz tune in a Manhattan neighborhood. I was very confused by the ending though and was wondering what was happening, but I caught on. This was well-written, and looks very professional.
The only suggestion I have is that you make a notable space between when they're in the street and then in the hotel so that it doesn't seem as choppy. Good story. :)