The Visitor

I really liked the concept of this script. Aliens coming to Earth to mate has been done before but I do like the twist on an old theme. Every young man in the galaxy thinks they can be a porn star and I think aliens are probably no exception. I think this script would work better if the alien was bursting-balls mad keen to do porn and the producer more worldly wise to the commercial angle of his film. After the alien explains his porn fantasy I think just having the producer say "okay - lets do it." then on walk all the women in his fantasy. Then the alien, like a frightened guy at a stag do becomes bursting-balls mad keen NOT to do it. Then it really needs a twist at the end - such as the brunette turns out to be his alien girlfriend and he's been set up by the alien show equivalent of Candid Camera. The dialogue needs to be much tighter and the exposition needs to be lost in 'show' rather than 'tell'. I also think a litle more pathos for the alien at the beginning would make an audience warm to him more. But yeah, overall I quite liked this script.