I love this short script. The dialogue is strong and flows well. What I love about the story is the way the author sets the stage for how the character needs to get his "fix" from his past - as surely as some are driven by the need for a drug. You get the feeling that his present life has become such a disappointment that he is driven to go back and relive a past that he loved. Even in the span of just two short pages, the author is able to give enough description to the main character that you get some idea of how he feels about his present life's circumstances and how he would do almost anything just to go back and re-live even a moment from his past. The story is unique and original in its concept. Loved it!
I'm looking forward to seeing the longer version, but I think it works perfectly in the two pages you have. All of the elements of an ultra-short story are there: a character that is presented well enough to elicit some kind of empathy, a story with a beginning/middle and end and a strong concept that encourages the reader to think and ask questions. It's one of the best short-short stories I've read.
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