Some people will tell you that you need to add more stage direction into this piece but I disagree. I think that anyone who has directed a piece of theatre would love the chance to play with piece and
really make it their own. You've set the rules with the bodies being quiet when alive people are around and I personally think that's enough. How someone choses to stage a piece should be up to them and I think you've given just enough structure - good work.
Since it's comedy I think you could afford to have a bigger difference between Marcus and Dave's characters. You're going for ballsy, so I say go the whole hog and don't be afraid to use steriotypes a bit more - after all, that's what comedy is made of.
Some of the dialogue feels a bit clunky if I'm being brutal and there are a few typos, so maybe have a quick scan over it before deadline.
All in all a wonderfully unique piece and I look forward to reading more of your work.
please log on to leave a comment!