I thought this was well structured, with two clearly defined characters and direction. To be honest I quickly caught on that 'Greg' was carrying out the interview and enjoyed this idea so read on to see where the action 'went'.
However, I mostly felt sorry for Tim. In my opinion he carried himself well, politely, avoided the pitfalls and tests Greg sent him and only swore after huge provocation;at which point 'Greg' probably wouldn't have blamed him. And that would then be the downfall for it to be funny I needed to not be on Tim's side.
The project is posted as a comedy and this is an area that needs to be developed.What syle are you looking to achieve? The absurd...(growing ridiculousness- where Tim is a young Victor Meldrew type)or black satire (where Greg would be at home in Shameless). If the comedy is in Tim's discomfort then maybe more action/direction notes might express this. I would like to read this again, and again, and again, each time with a different focus to see how it affects the outcome (A ground hog day for interviews).
Thanks for your review.
I intended Greg to be over the top and acting in a certain way in order to test how Tim handled himself. Greg would be a normal person but with very different approaches to interviews. Greg isn't a bad guy or looking to trip people up but just test them. so therefore you are supposed to feel sorry for Tim as when you realise that Greg is the interviewer then you realise that everything Tim has done is perfectly natural and that Greg is being a bit mean and obviously didn't mean what he said.
I think you are right that there needs to be more direction for the comedy to come out. I admit I feel my skills are greater when writing dialogue than direction. The comedy should come from the cringing of Tim at what Greg is saying. Greg is the ultimate pain in the arse as he is unaware that he annoys (or he is aware as it is intentional to get a rise out of Tim) so the reaction of Tim to what Greg says is intended to be the comedy. I admit it is not a laugh a minute piece but I never intended it to be. I was going for subtlety rather than Victor Meldrew.
This project is in its early stage of development (this is not an excuse for its lack of quality but a reason for it) so I hope that I will be able to change certain bits and add to the direction in order to improve it.
Thanks again for your feedback.