Busy Day
As I read I kept thinking "tell me more about the real Jane" - who is she, does she have any distinguishing habits, has she got a sense of humour - that sort of thing? Good idea though and one which could be developed deeper. I sort of got the sense the office smelled of feet a bit, that she's wearing a food stained shirt from yesterday, so there was an atmosphere there which a director would pick up on.
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