The Faller

Fun story. Liked it. Reminds me of a very similar story I wrote years ago. The reader usually makes allowances for suspension of disbelief in a story, so the fact he has 7 pages of thoughts is okay even though the fall would end much quicker. But falling is quiet? Maybe a step too far to ask the reader to believe air rushing past you at 120mph is quiet. Not sure the stage directions like [SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH] belong in prose. Or is it a screenplay? Would like to know a reason for him jumping. He rules out some methods of suicide because they inconvenience people. Has he not considered that someone hitting the pavement from the 30th storey could inconvenience or kill many people? This story is a good candidate for a short, punchy style, but this takes it time and doesn't convey urgency. Just a style choice at the end of the day, though. Repetitive with the references to 'they' quite a lot. Whole story could be made tighter. Seems like the ruminations of the character were worked out while writing the story. Maybe it could be rewritten and the thoughts on suicide and so on made more succinct. Funny bit about how many people killed by cows as opposed to sharks.