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Hairy Harvey's Bad Hair Birthday

by ianbevan

Logline

Could being a teenager be any hairier? A pilot episode for a Children's TV adventure series about a boy that is cursed with extreme hair growth.

Type: Teleplay

Genre: Children\'s, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, Magic,

Synopsis

A boy on his thirteenth birthday discovers that he has been cursed with extreme uncontrollable hair growth. With the help of his friends he must find a way to lift the curse, but discovers that this new ability may not be such a bad thing after all.

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    • Happy Hound

    • 2011-09-30 18:13:56
    • Ian, concerning your opening scene: From the third paragraph on, all the action takes place in the shower and could be seen (filmed) only from inside the shower. So you should either start with INT. SHOWER – DAY and skip the description of the bathroom or start with INT. BATHROOM – DAY, describe the bathroom and Harvey being in the shower, then move to INT. SHOWER – DAY before the second paragraph. *** Concerning second paragraph (Harvey’s description): What is messy hair? And if Harvey is washing it – all foamed up – how do we know it’s messy? *** The sentence, and many others, is unnecessarily long. You can shorten sentences by deleting unneeded words and restructuring. “Pudgy HARVEY (13) sings – badly! – as he washes his brown hair.” *** Hope this helps.
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    • jmdaws

    • 2011-09-28 15:55:41
    • ok. thanks. Just makes sure my expectations are not wrong.
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    • ianbevan

    • 2011-09-28 15:38:16
    • I do aim to replace such expletives after reading the particular channels guidelines if I do ever submit it anywhere. It is aimed at 8-12 year old mainly.
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    • jmdaws

    • 2011-09-28 15:02:52
    • I am reading through your teleplay. Can I ask a quick question...what age is this aimed at. You say children but so far (10 pages in) it seems a little adult for me with words like gits etc. I just don't want to review it assuming it is for younger people.

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