Hey Liam - I liked that a lot actually. Kind of makes me want to read more - not so much of the backstory, but more of the what next.....
It's well written (imho) and seems to be leading to something more. There is a lot of imagery going on for 5 pages/min and is easy to picture, reflecting on the concisely crafted writing. I'll have to take a look at your other projects!
glm1977