Michael, honest question. Wouldn't the voice in the opening be (o.s.) cus we can't see them??
Good little story here. Wanted to see where it ended, but page 5 and 6 were not available to me. Funny place this Circalit. Getting used to it.
Loved what you had, a diamond in the ruff, who should stay there a bit...
I've been trying to update this with the full screenplay but I just can't get it to work and I don't want to lose these reads or comments by updating another version. If you look down in the comments you will find a link to the full version.