The Junk Drawer
Not sure about the ending it looks like it was limited to 5 pages, so my comments are based on those.
Your descriptions work even though they often come from the actions they take such as the thimble crossing it's arms and the thread and needle. These things are common items in an unusual situation. Normally I would expect a traditional description, but this reds really well.
I think each character is fleshed out nicely and each has their own voice, so much so I was attributing genders where they weren't stated. So great job there.
As for the overall piece, I have to wonder who your target audience is? Although I enjoyed this great little piece I can't see this working as a cartoon though. I'm left wondering if kids would get it, let alone enjoy it. I'm sure adults would. I did really like the banter.
To me this is great flash fiction piece in the form of a screenplay format, but would be a hard sell made more so by the copious amounts of work it would take to animate a short with limited appeal. But keep those characterizations in mind as you move onto bigger and better things.
please log on to leave a comment!