I have to be honest here, I didn't enjoy this as much as the premise. I found the first person narrative a little restrictive in describing events and settings. Leading to me wanting to skip diary entries to get to the good parts, there should be sufficient interest for me to want to go through what Michael does in order to get on the assignment to go to Old Earth, there isn't enough keeping me hooked. It all seems too easy for Michael and subsequently too easy for me to want to switch off.
I liked the exchanges between the Terrans and Astrans but felt towards the end the decisions were rushed, with nothing leading up to this to build the tension. It seemed rushed, but not in an exciting way.
Thanks for sharing though, I did enjoy some of the story and your ideas are there, I just think it needs a little more development.