(SCENE 1) Homeless on Christmas eve
I think that this play has a lot of potential.
I really like the chitchat between these two men, and the way in which they speak seems to me to be appropriate for their differing ages. I like Winston’s wry humour and the way Charlie responds to this.
The point about not sitting closely to each other should, I think, be placed at the opening of the script. If you were writing a novel, then it would be okay to say that the space between them suggests… etc., but this is a stage play and the actors and audience need to know this right from the start. Perhaps, even, to further reinforce this, some mention of how long they have known each other should be stated by one of the characters. E.g.
I’ve known you all of a week and you want fatherly advice…
Now… Maggie. Winston’s sort of met his match with Maggie, which is nice, as up until that point I feel that Winston can hold his own anywhere, and at any time. He is the question guy and then she comes along and is asking all of the questions. I’m interested to know what it is that Winston’s working on – the magazine. It seems, though not clear yet, that there’s something important that he needs to do, which is why he’s asking Maggie about her view about magazines, but at the minute, without further stage play, it’s obviously not clear.
I’ve taken on board that you plan for the piece to be about six people and their lives on the same street, so I assume that Maggie might make an appearance again. Perhaps she is the catalyst for Winston seeking shelter; or perhaps she is the one who will continue to visit Winston, bringing him food and a flask; or perhaps Winston dies and impacts on all the others in the street in varying ways. I don’t know. The potential is there. I look forward to reading more.
You might already know but the BBC has resources for writers. The pdf below shows format for stage plays. That’s not to say yours is wrong; just thought it might be useful.
Also, free software.
I've just seen that you have a second scene put up here. I shall read that.
please log on to leave a comment!