A Fine Romance
Hi April. I loved this story. It flows very well and the dialogue is brilliant. The concept is very good. I liked the way she took everything from others' relationships and when she finally had her own, she didn't want anybody to know the details.
There was only one thing I noticed that you may want to think about:
Pg. 2 - (Mr Darcy) ...comes clacking along... - and then - ...He delicately picks... - (This seems a bit strange to me. Clacking would suggest he's being noisy, but delicately suggests he is being quiet and carful. This maybe needs re-thinking? Only my opinion though.
Anyway, well done and good luck.
please log on to leave a comment!