When it first opened up some of the language seemed a little archaic to me which almost put me off reading any further. The line went something like "for she something or other something or other something" (and here's a tip for the site guys: how the heck're are we supposed to review something when we can't even check what the author wrote without destroying every word of your own review?).
Anyway I wouldn't've used 'for' because most people speaking naturally say "BECAUSE something or other somethinged or othered something..."
That whole thing of using supposed proper grammar (but which's only some rules someone else made up before the rest of us were born) just kills the whole narrative momentum.
When you're talking to your mates you don't have to keep saying oh is that the proper grammar? you just whale it out at them as it comes: this happened that happened...busstop...vampires...party...Martians...probing...Uranus
That's why I liked the use of 'scooched' which had a certain authentic vernacular feel
Anyway that's just me.
After that I really felt I was in the presence of a genuine story teller though. I really felt I was in that garden looking over those lilacs at the old guy and his bees (making me pretty certain the writer was reporting something they'd actually experienced.
I felt it was good enough in fact to develop it into a fuller story where say the girl finds out this guy's an ancient bee shaman and she lets him shrink her down to bee size and send her off on many a adventure with her favourite bee Buzz who she then tragically finds out's a male drone destined like all males to be cast out to die during the winter by the female bees (because bee society is very much female dominated).
There's so much research material out there and not just the world wide mythologies because the history of mankind's the history of the development of bee culture as much as any other animal.
Ooh! Thank you for the lovely review. The story was for a flash fiction competition, so unfortunately I did have to stop it there. Originally I wrote the first para and then left it, then came back to it much later for the comp - which probably explains the different writing styles. It didn't really happen - but there was a chap who used to live in my house who was called Mr Fairbeard and he kept bees, so...
Thanks again for reading.