Wonderful detail in the hairs on the man's fingers, and then the shock of the punch. A start that grabbed my attention.
But the man who hits her isn't mentioned again for a while, where does he go?! Felt like he's forgotten a bit too long.
Well-written, nice moments like the man who is punched down to the other end of the van, they you say his hair is gray. They're punching old men. The bastards!
Very good story, full of nice little moments like the one above, and a great ending. I was sucked in and enjoyed the characters. Good stuff! Nice title too.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my writing, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it, (especially your comment on the title because I'm usually absolute rubbish at giving titles!)
I agree that the other characters are at risk at being forgotten and that they're really just used as a vehicle to move the story in a certain direction. An antagonistic character is always good to keep around though so I will see if I might revise it to include more of him - thanks for the tip!