I tried very hard to get "into" this script, reading all of the pages you have released. I can see that there's a big scope to the story and some intriguing characters evolving in the early pages.
However, in all honesty, the story had as much to confuse me as it had to make things clear.
The fact that the military titles for all the different factions were the same mad it hard to pick up which unit they belonged to without some serious re-reading of previous text.
There was no clear reason why Angel wanted to save the creature that came through the portal, not how she knew what to do to help it later on. Was she somehow affiliated with them, studied them, or just intuitive? It doesn't matter which it is, but it would go some way to clarifying the situation to have some explanation (perhaps it comes out in unpublished pages).
There are a number of typos that should be addressed (specie instead of species for example) and some missing words that make it hard to read with "flow".
It is certainly an interesting concept and a story on a grand scale. I wish you luck with it.
Thanks for sharing.
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