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Playing Away

by plainview

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Very touching and wonderfully told. It so reminds me of the set up in "Up" a favourite movie of mine. Sweet and poignant. Not overly convinced about the title. But my only one real question mark. Am going to have trouble to fill the space, as there's little to comment on. A great read! Thanks. Only a few minor technicals - you don't need the title again on the first page as you have the title page. Ahem. Which is what that's for. ;) And when they start to sign, you've noted in the action line that the couple sign - therefore no need to repeat yourself, and clutter the few lines of dialogue you have by putting (signing) in the wrylies. Never... You're slurring = Never... you're slurring. All seems like the same sentence to me, not sure you need the caps there. The Fade to black on the right, you could just place as an action line on the left like an action line. And then lose the fade in, since you have a slug there anyways. Just takes up space unncessarily and looks like a director's direction/transition as is. Fade out typically has a full stop, not a colon. Tiny nitpicks I know. :P

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