Good start.. So much of this is quite authentic. I knew a man was involved. Another man. Perhaps it was that your speaker was so knowledgeable about food and..I don't know. I was there and then about five pages in I scrolled to see where it was going. The length might be a bit much. Where are the other people at the dinner table? Are they really there? I almost saw some kind of multimedia aspect to this, like video or film behind him while he spoke. This is good. Keep at it. One more thing...the death/murder, totally didn't see it coming and still dont know what to do with it, but understand we live in a violent world. PS This grabs me most when the sentences are short. I need to feel air, a pause...so much is coming at the listener.
Nutmeg, you make a very good point. I hadn't really thought about the other characters. The thing is, I actually wrote it for this competition specifically asking for a monologue, from one character at a dinner party. There are supposedly 5 other characters around the table, but the brief specified that they did not speak (which they wouldn't as it is a monologue anyway). The way I think the organisers are imagining it is that there will be 6 people around the table, and they each tell their own individual story in turn. What the other characters do in the mean time is, I suppose, something to be decided by the directors. Still, I haven't won yet and, judging by the comments about all the stuff I have so far uploaded, I doubt I will.