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    • Alysa Salzberg

    • 2012-05-18 20:04:25
    • This was interesting. I like how it's ambiguous at first - I thought the protagonist was a hopeless romantic, expecting every girl he met to be "the one". In terms of format, I understand keeping it tight and not using paragraph breaks, etc. I would say you might want to go back and check for commas, etc. But again, that also might just be a question of style. Nicely done, and I like how the story stops at the perfect moment.

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Picking My Moment

by rjleek

Sometimes it's a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. ... more

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