Reviews

Brilliant

Really enjoyed it

PSYCHOtherapist

by rolo

Logline

Type: Short

Genre: Horror, Murder, Thriller,

Conversations

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  • seenivasan

  • 2010-08-14 17:42:59
  • great job man i like the characters name and the way you narrated
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  • gh0stwr1ter

  • 2010-05-02 18:26:33
  • ***SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*** Rolo, Some quick comments on PSYCHOtherapist: First, on page 3 you supply some descriptions for the characters that are interesting, but have no way of being expressed on screen. Keep in mind the "show, don't tell" rule for scripts. Next, on page 8 you include a shot description of INT. Lodge Continuous, and I don't think that's necessary unless you want to indicate passage of time. You continued in the same scene, and I couldn't figure why you included the location tag. And the actor's instructions in parentheses under the character names are redundant in your script. You dialogue works so well that I understood the insinuation without them. Leave those actor's instructions for specific reads that cannot be determined by a page reading. On page 11 I found it difficult for characters so traumatized by the presence of a dead body to want to crack open a beer and party. In addition, Blade's line in reference to the Clue board game on page 15 came out comical, and I don't know if you want that to be so in such a dramatic moment. On page 19 you need to restrain the use of the dash. Remember, all things in moderation, especially punctuation. I did enjoy the premise supposed on page 17 about limbo. That made your script stand out from all the rest, and I think you have something great in that. However, I believe that the ending you are suggesting was that the whole ruse was for the sake of Felix's treatment. If so, you made need to have a character to state bluntly so the audience sees it that way. I was wondering if it were done for the sadistic pleasure of Dr. Jeffries and crew, as in THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. With a little fine tuning, you will have a fine script on your hands.

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