Reviews
No reviewLittle Redd Ryden In The `Hood
by Ginny Fleming
Logline
Spoiled former child-star lands in jail and is sentenced to serve out her time in a busy community center. Will Redd survive doing "Hard Time in Lousyville"?
Type: feature
Genre: Rom-Com,Family,Spiritual
Synopsis
On a business trip to promote Louisville's Kentucky Derby during the Christmas season, Redd Ryden-- spoiled former child-star-- lands in jail and is sentenced to serve out her time in Farnsley House, a busy community center run by the "`hood's" own activist/philanthropist, Danny Goode (or as Redd calls him: "The rabid do-gooder-- Saint Dan the Goode"). Will Redd survive doing "Hard Time in Lousyville", but miss out on Paris and Lindsay's holiday bashes? Can Redd find the Christmas spirit in time to work the "Miracle of the Christmas Turkeys" for a houseful of hungry, blizzard-stranded Farnsley House patrons? (Redd: "I thought turkeys cooked themselves by immaculate convection...") And after a desperate petition to Heaven, will Redd receive divine help from the angels? (...REAL angels... as in dead... Hell's Angels) "Little Redd Ryden in the `Hood"-- a feel-good holiday "pre-classic", along the lines of "It's a Wonderful Life"-- a terrific vehicle for Debra Messing, Britney Spears, Drew Barrymore, or CMT singer Taylor Swift-- Perfect!
Conversations
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Happy Hound
- 2010-06-03 14:09:47
- Forget the credits part. I can't even find it now. The formatting thing is that you have some really long paragraphs. It might not bother some people, but from everything I've heard, you should avoid like the plague any paragraphs over 4 lines. That long paragraph you have at the beginning could easily be broken up into seperate paragraphs for each distinct action.
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Ginny Fleming
- 2010-06-03 13:23:31
- Thanks, Wayne. I'll consider. But I'm totally confused what you mean by "inserting credits". I was working off of a format given to me by my late agent and I use a Final Draft template. I think I know the main offending paragraph that gripes you. The one where Goode "introduces" his Farnsley House patrons. I wanted this as a hurried scene where Redd merely listens and nods while Goode speaks hurriedly. It not only shows Goode's relationship to his "family", but it's the first turning point in Redd's thinking. Obviously, I need to rewrite this if that notion's not coming through. This script placed in the top five (in the "sorry-- just missed" category) in a top contest. (since it wasn't a prize winner, I'll not name the contest) I was gifted with a professional reading/review/critique and I was given comments how to better it. Not one comment was about formatting. Didn't seem to bother him. He was more concerned that I focus on the motivation of characters and tying up loose ends-- which I did. I'm willing to do a complete rewrite, if needed, but *if* I did-- all of the vast comments and favorings I've had on Redd would be deleted and I'd have to start over from day one. (That last sentence was formatted as... funny...) Thanks, Wayne-- and I'll visit Basics. But it'll probably have to wait until Sunday. Mundane matters compel me to be scarce Thursday through Saturday.
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Happy Hound
- 2010-06-02 18:58:53
- . Took a quick look. There are some serious issues you should consider. Your writing is great, but the formatting is off. I don't mean your margins. I'm talking about paragraph length, inserting credits, that sort of thing. . Would you look at the group The Basics for some worthwhile info about such matters? . I know from reading your posts that you accept helpful hints in the proper spirit. That's good. I mean only to help.
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Ginny Fleming