It Hurts When I Do This

What hampers this for me, despite it being an entertaining read, is that it is essentially a series of sketches based on the clever char, and that it is not conceived as a film.Tat could be remedies somewhat in more attention were paid to setting up the scenes. For example, there is no visual intro to the opening that a professional reader would expect from a professional script. The characters aren't; properly logged - there is no character detail, only physical detail - nothing a bout what they are like as individuals. A professional reader's hear may begin to sink at this point, anticipating another script that relies on the dialogue; a director might be hesitant because there is nothing for him to do but set up the camera - there is little feeling of a story 'world' . When editors talk about 'good writing' is is things like that that they mean - not the fact that you might have a good story. So you might want to be a little more detailed in how you are setting up your reader to like your writing. This now needs to be taken to a more professional level. Good luck - and good writing.