Heat

This story -- particularly the first half -- is wonderfully written with respect to detail. Although some of your images don't work for me (how do water drops appear pregnant? is it just that they're round?), all of them are unique and to-the-point. Your sentence structure is short and sharp, cutting to your details and images without stopping to analyze them, which is perfect; analyzing these images would only take away their power. And discovering the narrator's identity, as a dog, only added to my pleasure from this sentence structure, as it gave me a direct, character-based understanding of its being. The 'revelation' of the narrator as a dog is a bit choppy, and verging on cliche, but I enjoyed the rest of this story so much that it barely took away from the reading experience. A very pleasant read, thick in images and pure sensation.