SCREENPLAY - THE SCENE

“A ribbon of dreams.”

- Orson Welles, Director of CITIZEN KANE, referring to film

A screenplay is comprised of scenes.

The screenwriter tells his or her story scene by scene.

One scene after another.

From beginning to end.

A cinematic ribbon of scenes.

Here’s the opening of a script…

RACE OF LIFE

Written by Tom Lazarus

FADE IN:

EXT. COUNTRY SIDE - NIGHT

FLYING TOWARD a sparkling jewel in the rural landscape…a giant sign illuminated by towering lights reads FREEDOM RACEWAY.

In front of a wildly CHEERING sell-out crowd, two huge, lethal motorcycles - one black, one red, side by side - race dangerously around the oval and thunder for the finish line

EXT. RACE TRACK - NIGHT

The Official waves his checked flag as the black motorcycle just noses over the finish line before the red bike.

EXT. PIT AREA - NIGHT

DARREN, in skin tight red leathers, a handsome, buffed out blonde thirty year-old, power slides to a TIRE SCREECHING stop and jumps off the red motorcycle.

DARREN

(sarcastic)

Real cute.

He whips off his helmet…

DARREN

(continued)

Cheating scum!

…and rushes BULLETS, six feet of evil in black leather, who drops his black bike and heaves his helmet at Darren.

BULLETS

Loser!

Bullets is thrown a tire iron from the crowd as Darren runs toward him.

Darren stops and they face each other…the big moment has arrived.

Okay let’s analyze these three scenes…..

Some nice white space at the top…to lighten the look of the page.

RACE OF LIFE

Put the title on page one as well as on the title page. Many times scripts lose the cover page.

Written by Tom Lazarus

Don’t forget your name. You want the credit.

FADE IN:

Every script starts with FADE IN. Even if it’s a black screen opening.

EXT. COUNTRY SIDE - NIGHT

Every scene starts with a SLUG LINE and it’s always comprised of three elements....

1. The physical location: EXT. meaning EXTERIOR is a scene out of doors.

INT. means INTERIOR and the scene takes

place inside.

EXT./INT. means the takes place in both locations.

2. The actual location: COUNTRY SIDE. Every time you change locations, you change scenes.

3. And finally, NIGHT OR DAY. More information as to what the scene looks like.

The reason this is done: before a film goes into production, the script is BROKEN DOWN. Every scene is put onto a separate production strip which carries all the scene’s information, then placed in order of production on the PRODUCTION BOARD to make the most efficient shooting schedule.

FLYING TOWARD a sparkling jewel in the rural landscape…a giant sign illuminated against the threatening sky reads FREEDOM RACEWAY.

The opening of a script is one of the very few times you get to be cinematic… let the first shot be real ‘movie.’ When you do call a shot…like WIDE SHOT, FLYING TOWARD it should be capitalized.,

The only other times you should call the shot is when it is necessitated by the story. When a large story moment is clearly dependent on the shot, put in the shot.

(NOTE: just so you know, all these rules, at one point or another, can be broken. You do what is best to communicate what you need to. That’s your priority…not adhering to rules.)

FREEDOM RACEWAY is underlined. Any words you read on the screen: email, signs, sky-writing, Born to Lose tattoos, newspaper headlines, any thing the audience reads should be underlined.

In front of a wildly CHEERING sell-out crowd, two huge, lethal motorcycles - one black, one red, side by side - race dangerously around the oval and thunder for the finish line

Rather than have one solid block of scene description, it’s better to break it up and let your script page visually breathe with white space.

The alternative is a solid, somewhat daunting block of scene description. You want to make the experience of reading your script an easy one.

CHEERING is capitalized. All sounds are capitalized.

You should skip two lines before each new scene. In the old days, screenwriters put a CUT TO: after every scene. That’s old fashioned now, necessitating a double space between scenes for easy reading.

Everything I recommend to you involves making it easy for the reader. Your job is to seduce the reader and have nothing in your script which lessens the seduction and takes them out of the story. When you submit your script, it should be perfect. Inconsistent or incorrect formatting is the sign of an amateur and is tantamount to shooting yourself in the foot.

EXT. RACE TRACK – NIGHT

The Official waves his checked flag as the black motorcycle just noses over the finish line before the red bike.

Every time there’s a slug line, there must be SCENE DESCRIPTION…that’s the sentence with the Official. You’ll notice I’m describing what’s happening on the screen. Screenwriting is all about ‘seeing’ what’s happening on the screen and recording it.

EXT. – PIT AREA - NIGHT

DARREN, in skin-tight red leathers, a handsome, buffed out blonde thirty year-old, power slides to a TIRE SCREECHING stop and jumps off the red motorcycle.

Darren’s the main character. It’s best to physically describe the main characters so the reader can conjure up some visual image of him or her to help connect with them.

Notice DARREN is capitalized. All new characters who have dialogue have to be CAPITALIZED when we first see them.

TIRE SCREECHING…another capitalized sound.

DARREN

(sarcastic)

Real cute.

Every time a character speaks they get their own DIALOGUE BOX as shown above.

(SARCASTIC) Lots of screenwriters use parentheticals promiscuously. They should only be used when the dialogue could be misinterpreted without it. Darren could actually mean “Real cute.” But, he means it sarcastically, therefore the use of the parentheticals.

(Jumping off his bike) is the way a lot writers use parentheticals. It is wrong.

He whips off his helmet…

DARREN

(continued)

Cheating scum!

When your character has two consecutive dialogue boxes, the second box must carry a (continued) or (CONT’D).

…and rushes BULLETS, six feet of evil in black leather, who drops his black bike and heaves his helmet at Darren.

You’ll notice a broke up the action by using ellipses (…). That helps the flow of the action. Another thing to make the read a seductive one.

BULLETS

Loser!

Bullets is thrown a tire iron from the crowd as Darren runs toward him.

Darren stops and they face each other…the big moment has arrived.

Notice I separated these two lines - as the first line is a shot of Bullet and the next a shot of Darren…rather than calling the shots, which directors hate, I get the same result without calling the shot.

Every scene must have its own arc of drama. Every scene must be fully realized. It must describe what is happening on the screen. Most scenes should have a beginning, middle and end.

One of the truisms of screenwriting is CUT TO THE HEART OF THE SCENE.

Many writers have their character drive up to a house, lock the car, walk up the carefully described walkway, to the carefully described door with its carefully described knocker, then the character knocks, waits a few seconds, hear the carefully described approaching footsteps. The door opens. The carefully described butler walks the main character through the foyer, with the carefully described furniture….hold on I DON’T CARE! Cut to the heart of the scene…which is when the main character is in the library with his ex-wife, pulls a gun and empties a magazine load into her body. You could open the scene – instead of all the walking – when he pulls his gun.

The big moment has arrived.

An uncharacteristic-for-me novelistic touch. Should be used rarely…only when important or absolutely necessary to make a point.