I don't know if cute is the right word to describe this but I'm going to use it. Would Zombies have ketchup or brown sauce with their meat?
It feels like part of a larger beast and good luck with writing that. I will definitely give it a read when done.... as these 3 pages made me chuckle. I'm not a zombie fan at all but 'Trailer Park of Terror' is a work of genius.
Feel free to review my short The Gift of the Nation
I would try to do something different to conceal the identities of the patrons? As Lightfoot said, well-written, though I think you may need to disguise your intentions more as it stands now (and perhaps not as part of your larger piece). Let us know when you post the expanded version of this and best of luck with it - Anthony
Thanks for taking the time to read my script. I appreciate the feedback. This is actually the beginning of a much larger idea I have. The twist at the end of this was intended to be the end of the opening scene. Thanks again for reading.
This was a good point of view from an almost over cooked type of script, although i think "Zombieland" has revived that for the time being.
Nothing much to say on this 3 pager besides the fact that the writing was good, but the ending was a bit predictable.