Photographic Memory
by Tom Benson - Writer
I choose to believe that this story has a happy ending. That may or may not be what you thought when you were writing it, but poor Myr'yam. What happened to her home that she was so proud of was heartbreaking, not to mention what else she's been through in her life.
You write a soldier's perspective with authority which, given your many years experience as I see on your profile page, makes sense. It gives a sense of solidity to your piece and legitimacy to your character.
I read most of the story thinking it seemed like an excerpt from a longer story or a novel, not quite sure where you were going with this one episode in Jason's experience. But it all worked out rather neatly in the end and I was pleasantly surprised to find things tied up like that. A good ending, structurally speaking, whether or not it turns out well for Jason and Mry'yam.
On the whole, a well-written piece with measured prose and both terrible and touching moments.