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THE BUTLER (Second Draft)

by turina

Clever concept
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When I read the first draft, I liked it already. Now I believe it read nicely, and it is better framed. This is a clever script. Regardless of that, this redraft is interesting. It seems to channel Danny's energy differently, in a better way. I'm glad that you used my suggestion and I believe it could make a very nice short. I know you feel you need to work it more, but it makes an interesting read already! !

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