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Marjorie's Flowers

by ubarnes

Vivid and quirky story
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This kept me reading and I think it is a great idea - the loneliness and isolation of the man and the fact that tending an imagined woman's grave perks him up. In fact that is the part of it that I felt the most interesting - rather than him finding a new friend in Elaine - although you need someone for him to talk to - I like the idea of it being his imagined past that brings him back to life - something v different and slightly sinister about it. Opening pieces about straight lines v good vivid writing - him thinking of her in her blue coat - I think you could go further with his imaginary life. I like the real family coming to see the grave as well - could ratchet up the tension here more too - but also great details about the gaudy flowers etc. Personally I would have a diff ending - in that seems to conventional and neat that he hooks up with Elaine -for such an original story. More edgy if he doesn't end up with her but is still somehow happy in his new world - replacing the flowers they have left. But that's is perhaps just my cynical mind! Great story - really enjoyed it.

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