I really enjoyed reading this. It has a mysterious and lyrical quality that reminds me of Phantom of the Opera at times. I really liked the dialogue, especially the line 'for there is no eulogy for he who dies last'. Except the dialogue is just too vague at times. For instance when Anton is talking about the others at the end I wanted his comments to be a bit more specific to give us a bit more sense about who they all were. The characters were all fascinating, and quite Neil Gaiman-esque, so I just wanted to learn a tad more about them.
I really liked the ambiguity and the cyclical nature though, you really get the feeling that this dinner party has been going on for hundreds of years. The descriptions are lovely too. Some scripts might not need as vivid detail as this, but yours really does because of its dreamlike quality.
I did find Quentin's death hard to visualise however, as I couldn't picture where Dolph's chair was, whether he was standing up, etc. This would be easy to tweak though.
Overall, I thought this was a really promising concept. With a bit of polishing it will be excellent.
please log on to leave a comment!