"Thessaloniki" Peirene competition.

Could have been...

by michaelvank

Character

Dialogue

Concept

Writing Style

... a nice story, but I'm afraid the writing let it down. Language barrier perhaps? I found it stilted and wanted more in the way of description of the blind dog's perceptions, especially when the fight happened. Was she involved or left alone? Did she try to help her friend or not? The way you tried to shoe-horn a moral into the end of the piece felt out of place. An interesting idea executed inadequately in my opinion, but it promised much more. Thanks for sharing.

Conversations

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  • michaelvank

  • 2011-12-20 22:34:07
  • You are welcome. I am sure it is far, far better than anything I could write when not using my primary language. Please try again, or post something new and I will read more that you have to offer. I have posted three stories now. Please check out the latest one: Death of a Kitten, found here http://www.circalit.com/michaelvank/projects/death-of-a-kitten/ It is not as macabre as it sounds.
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  • Zinovia

  • 2011-12-01 11:38:05
  • Thank you very much for your critique and your time. Well i'm a Greek girl living in Greece and that's why my english on a writing level is not so good. It was my first attempt, just wanted to enter the competition for the experience. Thank you very much for your time :)